Awhile back, like two years ago now, I wrote a piece on the Best-Worst Film Ever Made. I gave that distinct honor to Doom Asylum.
At the time this cult classic could occasionally be found on Ebay, in VHS only, going for something around $60. As much of a fan as I am of the film, I couldn’t justify the cost for a dying format.
But $12 for a DVD version? Sold- to the tall guy with poor fashion sense standing in the back!
Amazon lists a tentative release date of July 15th for this, what can only be described as, so-bad-it’s-good horror film.
The story involves a surgeon, conveniently called The Surgeon, who is grossly disfigured in a car wreck near an asylum. Well okay, at the time of the wreckhe’s just wounded. However, the passing years of coping withthe death of his wife (Tina) in the same car accident causes his skin to rot away while he continues living… this isn’t explained anywhere in the film, it’s just my guess.
Anyhoo, a few years later, a group of kids go to the asylum to take in some sun. They cross paths with an industrial goth band, who are inexplicably practicing in one of the wings of the asylum, and completely fail to hit it off. As the story progresses, the goth band riles the prep-ish kids and their one geeky cohort by throwing water filled condoms at them… which is ingenious thinking on the director’s part as there is no other need for these in the film.
So The Surgeon starts killing people, breathing heavily and offering witty comments to the deceased. Everyone is in danger of losing their life, except the lead actress who reminds The Surgeon of his beloved Tina. She gets to run around the asylum in a swimsuit. One by one, the characters are picked off until, alas, the surgeon and pseudo-tinameet for an ever exciting climax, which is also polished off with a witty response to the deceased.
Obviously, plot alone can help you understand just how bad the film is, but it is the dialogue which really makes this a classic. It’s been a good 13 years since I last saw this film and my childhood friends and I still cannot resist quoting soundbites from it.
If you need anymore incentive, consider this. This film was Sex and City actress, Kristen Davis’, first film. Just imagine watching Kristin and all her talent in its primal and raw form; before it was sculpted into some refined talent worthy of the masses.
Oddly enough, it took nearly 4 years for he to recover from this film and land another acting role worthy enough for mention on IMDB’s bio of her.